AVR Scar - One Week Post Op.

Today I took the tape off of my scar. I am so happy with how low the scar is. I was told the scar would most likely go from my collar bone to a few inches below my breasts. For a few days after the surgery I even thought I had staples holding it together. I was so nervous today when I was peeling away the tape because the dried blood underneath made the scar look a lot thicker. Now I just have to take care of it so it heals nicely for January.

Note: I got a little burn from the tape that was used on my neck IV. You can't see all of the bruises on my neck and arms, but when Julien and I go to to store, it almost looks like we're in an abusive relationship. I walk like a wounded animal and he has to help me with everything. And, I'm covered in bruises. :P

Hospital Pictures

Here are some pictures of me from the hospital and at home after being released.

I had a Dr.'s appointment today and everything looks pretty good. My biggest concern has been the 15 lbs of water weight that I gained from the IV fluids (verrry uncomfortable), but they are starting to come off. I've lost 10 lbs in two days and have been peeing up a storm!!! Here's to hydration!

Before the surgery:

So excited. If only I knew ...

Bye bye!

First picture after surgery. Pictures weren't allowed in the ICU, so this was after I was moved to the Cardiac Ward. Still on morphine!

This was either day 2 or day 3 with my mom and dad.

After returning home and trying to find a comfortable spot. Fail.

One week since surgery

Wow, I can't believe that it's been a whole week since I went in for my heart valve replacement. This time last week, I was lying in the ICU in a crazy morphine induced state. This week has been one of the most difficult weeks of my life. And to think, I will have to do it all over again in ten years. Sigh.

I don't remember much about the day of my surgery. I had to spend the night before my surgery in the hospital because my surgery was so rushed and I couldn't do the pre-admission necessisities (blood work, body scrubs, etc.). I remember waking up early, around 5am, to the nurse talking to me. I couldn't hear her because I was wearing earplugs, so, after pulling them out, I went and got prepped for surgery. Little did I know, that would be the last good sleep I would have for a while ...

I hung out with my mom and Julien until 7am, when I was wheeled into the OR waiting room.

I waited in the OR waiting room for about 45 minutes. After going into the OR, I had a little look around (it's pretty space-tech looking in there), before konking out. I didn't even know that the anesthesiologist had put anything into my IV.

The next thing I remember is waking up to my mom, dad, and Julien, who were all being way nicer than they usually are. Not that they aren't super nice, but they were even cheesier than they normally are. But it was still great to see them. It's nice when the first thing you see after surgery is your family. I didn't think it would mean as much to me as it did. Other than seeing my fam, I don't remember any of the other information that I was given. I don't remember waking up, fighting against the breathing tube, having the tube taken out, and all of that other fun stuff. I justg remember waking up every hour or so for the next 20 hours after having crazy dreams. Then, when I would wake up, I would be surprised that I'd ever had the surgery. I'd wake up thinking "oh shit, I have to go into surgery today!" before realizing then it was already over.

I was out of the ICU after 24 hours. The day after surgery is when they start counting the days post op. So, the day after surgery is considered Day 1. (The surgery day is Day Zero).

Day 1 was pretty wonderful. The worst part was when I had to have the chest tubes taken out, but they gave me so many drugs, I don't even remember it happening. I had breakfast in the ICU. I ate it all. It was actually pretty good. I was surprised at how good the food tasted, actually. Then I was moved to the cardiac ward. Day 1 is all about controlling pain. So, if I started to have pain, I would just say "more morphine!" and they'd give it to me. Man, at this point, I thought recovery would be a breeze!!!

Day 2 was the worst day that I've had yet during recovery. On Day 2 I had to come off of the morphine. I was so nauseous all day and couldn't keep any food down. Anybody who knows me knows that I have a very low pain tolerance. Well, I also have a very low sick tolerance. If I ever get pregnant, I don't know how I will handle morning sickness, let alone delivery. So yeah, Day 2 was spent mostly trying to not die.

Day 3 was much better than Day 2. I was completely off of the morphine, which was substituted with oxycodone, and was walking around the ward. On Day 3 I had my urine tubes removed, as well. I hated that thing. Talk about uncomfortable!!! So I was the most free that I had been yet. I had my first little physio class (at which I was the youngest, by far) and was in overall good spirits. I was in even better spirits when, at around 4pm, my doctor told me that I would be able to go home ... that night! I was so surprised, especially since the day before had been so terrible for me (and that most of the other people ended up staying five more more days after surgery).

So, on Saturday night, at the end of Day 3, I came home! Julien and my good friend Elise helped me get settled at home. That first night at home was very difficult. Neither Julien or I got very much sleep, since I had to try each bed/chair/sofa in the apartment, like, twenty times--for real. And then, after 30 minutes of sleep, I would wake up calling Julien's name because I needed to be moved again. I am happy to say, for both myself and Julien, that each night is getting better. I had originally planned that I would sleep in the recliner, since it was the best place for me after my angiogram, but the recliner hasn't been working out too well for me. I can't sleep in a bed yet, either. So, the best bed for me has been my sofa! Last night I slept for five hours straight before having to get up and re-adjust. And wonderful Julien was able to sleep through the whole night for the first time since I came home without being interrupted!

Hmm, what else is there to say? There isn't too much that I can do on my own. I can walk very slowly and I got up a few flights of stairs for exercise. Today I went to a park and walked a little there. I feel completely useless when Julien is seeing to me and I'm not really able to help. But, as people having been telling me, I should enjoy the care while it lasts :P.

Anyways, I'm now going to go watch a movie with ma man!

Last Post Before Surgery

Happy Tuesday!

Yesterday my momma came out to New Westminster from the Island (of Vancouver). I was worried that I would spent too much time getting over nervous about everything, but instead the day was spent running around completing all of the things that needed to get done. Things that I had to do:

- go to the Dr.'s and get the forms needed for the insurance company

- return library books

- buy groceries

- final fitting for wedding dress (still needs one more alteration)

- apply for new passport (after recently mis-placing mine somewhere in the apartment).

The passport application was such a long process. Because I had lost my passport, I had to fill out a declaration for lost/stolen passports and have it notarized. It was a lot of running around, but I was one of the last people out of the passport office.

Today, I'm doing my last weigh in before the surgery at Weight Watchers, doing some thrift store shopping with my mom, and going out for lunch a light lunch before being admitted to the hospital.

Cheers for now! Wish me luck!!!!

What's up with the weather, yo?

Today it hailed in New Westminster. Five days ago my apartment was a scortching 30C. From Sunday to Monday there was such a huge shift. Weather freaks me out.

Here's a little interesting fact about me: I always thought that you were supposed to leave two spaces after a period. That's what I was always taught to do in elementary school. Apparently not. When I was being a grammar Nazi on one of Julien's proposals, I pointed out that he was only leaving one space. Then we got into an argument which resulted in a bet, which I lost. I hate losing bets. Anyways, since then, I've been struggling to use the "one space after period" method. Old habits die hard.

I think that's all I have to say. Oh, I spoke to my good old friend Elise today. Elise, if you're reading this, shout outs for realz! (whatever that means) xoxo!

The Date

So this afternoon Julien and I met with my cardiac surgeon. We set the date for next Wednesday, September 21st. This is the fastest surgery after the consultation that my surgeon has set up. Normally, there are a bunch of pre-surgery tests that you have to take at the hospital about a week or two before your surgery date, but because my date has been set for seven days from now, I am just going to be admitted the day before and have the tests done in the afternoon/evening and will be observed through the night for a bright and early surgery first thing the following morning. It seems a little fast and I am having a hard time wrapping myself around the fact that this time next week I will be lying in the ICU at Royal Columbian hospital with a massive scar running down my chest.

I am more elated than terrified. This mean that I can rest easy that I will have enough time to recover before January 1st when I leave for the DR (14.5 weeks, to be exact). Again, I am so so so excited to finally have this nightmare over. Of course this is something that will always be with me, but the worry and anticipation that has preceded the surgery, and even the diagnosis, has been greater than anything I've experienced yet.

Weight Watchers

I don't know if anybody knows this, but I have struggled with weight issues for years and years. I reached my heaviest weight when I was in university. I got so down on myself that I joined weight watchers. I think I was about 20 or 21 at this time. I think that joining weight watchers is one of the top five decisions that I've ever made in my life, even though I've never stuck with it or reached/maintained my ultimate goal weight.

In June I rejoined weight watchers for the 5th or 6th time, I think. They have a new plan, which luckily fixes all of the flaws that I felt the old system had. But this new plan, called points plus, is, in my opinion, more complicated and difficult to follow. I always start going back to the old plan and mixing the two together, which is not a good idea.

I went to a meeting yesterday for the first time in a month. I went there with my head down, sulking at my 4.6 lbs weight gain, but left feeling completely pumped about getting back on plan. This is why the meetings are incredibly important. They motivate you, give you tips for success, and force you to be accountable. So, once again, I am giving it my all. Combined with all of the helpful tips that I've gotten for healthy eating (on the blog and vocally from people who read the blog but don't blog themselves), I am putting forth a full effort to target my problem areas.

I am notorious for adding a little extra salt here and there, so I am using more fresh veggies and herbs and completely eliminating unnecessary sodium. For example, the other day when I made hummus, I rinced the chick peas and used water instead of the water from the can. And I didn't add any extra salt, but put other spices like cumin and black pepper instead. In the end, it was yummier than my old recipe! I'm also keeping delicious salads in the fridge to grab whenever I get peckish. I have a tomato basil salad, beet salad, and beet greens salad in there right now. I usually use them all as toppers and throw them on top of a bed of spinach. Delicious! I am also keeping kalamata olives on hand for when I crave salt. Olives=great for the heart and great to quench your salt thurst.

I'm also tracking. I hate tracking, but it's essential to success on the weight watchers program. I promise I won't track online, since nobody really cares what I eat, but I am keeping track of it. Today is day two and I'm feeling good! My weight gain yesterday was a real reminder of my upcoming nuptials and, combined with the necessary lack of exercise in my life right now, the real possibility of a dress that is three sizes too small.

Anywhobers, I'll update again later with the results from my consultation this afternoon.

Getting Anxious

Tomorrow I have my consultation with my cardiac surgeon. Here I will get the results of my CT scan from Friday and hopefully we'll be able to set the date for the surgery. I'm so excited to get this stage of my life over with! But still terrified at the same time.

There isn't much else to say. I had a good weekend. My brother and SIL (sister-in-law) came over and spent the last beautiful and hot weekend with us. Robbie and Julien spent lots of time wrestling in the pool while Amaris and I dodged their splashes. I think they bonded.

I think I had a reaction to the sunscreen that I was wearing. I normally put it on my body only and use a face lotion with sunscreen in it on my face, but it was so sunny that I decided to put the regular sunscreen on my face instead. Boy, my face did not seem to like it. Now my skin feels leathery and itchy (not from a sunburn, however). I don't know which is worse ...

RANT - I really don't like the sun. I'm always so thrilled when the autumn weather rolls in--which it did today, thankfully. Don't get me wrong, I love the sun, I just hate the heat!!! Today was a beautiful, cloudy, 22 degrees. :-)

Anywho, I'll give an update tomorrow about my consultation tomorrow.

Hot in the City

I've been struggling this past week with trying to keep cool in the New West late summer weather and trying to maintain any amount of slow-paced activity I can. The afternoons are incredibly hot, so I have been getting out in the early morning for a walk along the quay. To get home, I catch a bus up the tretcherous 8th street--which I am no longer able to walk up--and run errands uptown before making my way down the hill to my apartment. By noon, my suite is scortching hot. I can't figure out if it's cooler with the windows open or closed, but the blinds definitely remain drawn throughout the day. It doesn't begin to cool down until 6am the next morning, unfortunately.

Now normally, our pool closes on Sept. 1st. But since our summer didn't really start until August, they're extending the pool hours until the weather starts to cool down. This has been amazing!!!! So, I spend a good amount of time outside in the shadey areas beside the pool (I really don't do well in the direct sunlight, ginger and all).

I'm also trying to eat healthier foods, since I'm unable to exercise the way I like to. This is difficult because, with the heat and all, all I want is ICE CREAM!!! But I've been exploring some heart healthy food options, since I should probably maintain a heart-healthy diet now for, well, the rest of my life.

So, if anybody has any heart healthy recipes that they would like to share, please do!!! I don't know how many people read this blog (So far I only know of one--I <3 Tania), but if you do, share your deliciosu recipes with me! I especially love easy recipes. And if you have any good salad recipes, I hate traditional salads, so anything that can spice them up would be heaven for my palate.

Today I am getting a CT scan of my heart. This will hopefully show if there are any other problems with my heart that didn't show up with the dreadful angiogram. Then, I have my appointment with my cardiac surgeon next Wednesday. Hopefully, in less than one week, I will have the date set for my surgery! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it will be in September. So excited to have it over and done with, but still dreading every second of recovery.

Oh, I'm also starting to have chest pain. This scares me a little. It's very rare, but when it happens it's just a sharp little pang in the centre of my chest. This is the first time in my life that I've ever had chest pain. I usually get it when I'm slouching, not when I'm walking, so I hope it's just my poor posture and not something more serious going on in the ol' ticker!

Angiogram - Gross Content Warning - Read with Caution (14+)

A week and half ago I had my first real surgical procedure. To say that it was not what I expected is an understatement, but then again, I've never been very "tough" when it comes to anything that involves pain. Now that I'm almost completely healed (physically--emotionally, not so much), I can re-visit my first, and hopefully last, cardiac cathertization.

I knew what I was getting into when I was told that I had to have a heart cath/angiography. I knew that I would be "put under" and a small incision would be made in my groin or wrist. Small tubes would then be placed up an artery and vein to my heart. Dye would be injected into the tubes and, upon reaching the heart, would light everything up nice and bright so that the Dr.'s could get a nice picture of what my heart was doing. After that, I would wake up and be monitored for a few hours (after all, these drugs can be quite rough). But in my mind, being Superwoman, I'd be the first one out. Afterall, I'm much younger and physically fit than most of the people going in for heart caths. I also thought that, even though the Dr's felt I needed an angiogram, they had made a mistake and my heart was still pretty good. Remember, I didn't think I had real symptoms.

August 25th, 2011. My mom, Julien, and I go into the Royal Columbian Hospital at 7am. I am the first on the list for the day's angiograms. I am taken into my room with a very nice nurse. There is already a man in there on a different bed, but other than that, I'm the first in! The first thing the nurse asked was if I'd shaved.

Me: Have I shaved?
Wonderful Nurse (now to be referred as 'wurse'): Yes, the area needs to be shaved. Didn't they tell you?
Me: NOoooOOOOooo!

So that solved the problem of whether I was having a wrist or groin inscision. But honestly, I always thought the groin area was quite vast. My advice: if you ever need an angiogram, groin means groin. Like, groin groin. So groom yourself, unlike hippy Sara. In my defense, I've been justifiably using my left side twitch as an excuse to stay away from all razors. So I got a nice little buzz cut from my wurse, but now I look a little lopsided since they only needed access to the right side--and it ain't a beauty salon, people!

So at this point, I was a little embarrassed and FREAKED OUT! Trust me, you would be, too. But I was okay with it because I would be asleep for the worst of it.

Next came the IV. My first IV. Not fun at all, I still have the bruise. My wurse assured me that this is, for many people, the worst part of the procedure. I've only been put under anesthetics once when I had to have my wisdom teeth taken out. I think they used an oxygen mask or something because this was my first IV experience.

So now I'm ready. The wheel me on the bed into another area where I wait for my cardiologist to come and take me in for the angiogram. Right before I go in, they introduce me to the nurse who will give me happy drugs and make me feel really good.

Me: Wait, don't you put me to sleep? I'm not supposed to be awake for this am I?

Nurse (Not wurse): Nope. Sorry, hun, we need you awake for this one. But you will be given local anesthetic to numb the area.

Wow. It was terrible. No happy medicine could make this girl happy. They had to keep pumping it into me because I just couldn't relax. When they made the incision (in ma groin), I thought I peed myself, but it was just blood. No worries. Then, they push a pretty thick tube up your artery. It's pretty nifty when they squirt the dye in it, though. It feels like a rush of heat all up your body. Then they do it again with your vein. And the watch your heart on the monitor above. It made no sense to me, though. When we were finished, a nice nurse wheeled me out to recovery. It was this nurse who told me that I would, in fact, need to have my valve replaced quite soon and that we would be able to speak with someone about it in the afternoon.

I think the worst part of the day came during recovery, though. Since they've punctured an artery, they need to put constant pressure on the puncture site. To do this, they use a big metal clamp to clamp you to the bed. It wasn't that painful because I was still numb. But, they were training a newbie on clamping, and when he was trying to do it, I kept squirting blood! It turns out, I'm a squirter! Apparently some people squirt so high, it hits the ceiling! So they get me clamped down and I had to lie on my back, head on the pillow, for something like two hours. I couldn't move my leg, and could only really wiggle my fingers and toes. It was very uncomfortable.

When it was time to unclamp me, I started squirting again! My wurse (love her!) said that this was becuase I'm a ginger like her. Apparently red heads bleed a lot. So at this point they have to re-clamp me. At this point, the local has worn off. SO PAINFUL. The pain made my blood pressure drop and they had to increase my IV drip and give me oxygen. So I had to stay there for another hour and a half or something.

When they were finally able to get the clamp off of me, they took me into the waiting recovery kind of area where I could chill with my mom (who was freaking out because I was taking way longer than I was supposed to) and Julien (who was great with my mom). The rest of the day was still awful. I had to lie in the same position all day. At about 3pm I walked to the bathroom. That was when I saw the mess of my groin for the first time. Poor groin.

I was discharged at 4pm. At home, Julien and my mom took great care of me. I had to sleep on the recliner for a few nights because it was the only way I could lie comfortably. The bruise was so gross, but luckily there were no complications. I would've taken pictures and posted them, but I'm not one to post pictures of my groin on the internet. Sorry.

I miss blogs

I love blogs. Other people's blogs. Not mine. I am super lazy when it comes to updating my blogs and so I usually forget my password and eventually stop updating.

I keep meaning on updating this blog, though. And lucky me, I was still able to get into this account!

I have a particular reason for updating this account now, but I will get to that in a bit (ah, the suspense!). A lot has happened since I last udpated my blog two and a half years ago. This blog was meant to be a chronicle of my time in Korea. So much for that. I am home now and let me tell you, a lot has happened!

I spent another year in Korea after my last post. I've been home for a year and a half now and I my memories of Korea are still so fresh. After about a year in Seoul, though, I started to get homesick. This was expected since all of my friends who signed on for one year contracts started to go home. The friends I made in Korea were my backbone the whole time I was there. Still, I got lonely.

My lonliness was heightened by the fact that dating SUCKS for single white girls in Korea. The Korean men want Korean women and the foreigners want Korean women, too. Damn beautiful Korean women! So, I decided that I would give internet dating a solid try. It was then that I started with eharmony. Yes, I used eharmony. I used it oversees. And I'm happy to say it worked. I started chatting with a very nice fella who I now live with and am engaged to marry. I honestly think that our relationship was successful because we both became so invested in each other during our four months of correspondence before I came home in March of 2010.

After I came home I jumped back into Canadian life (as trippy as that was). I came home, immediately got laser eye surgery (worth every penny!), got my TEST certification, and moved to Vancouver to be with Julien (Mr. eharmony). I quickly found a job at a language school in downtown Vancouver and worked my ass off for about a year. After about six months at my job, which I loved, I started to get super tired (I was working a lot). I got pretty close to having a melt down and got out of there pretty quickly.

Fast forward three months: Julien and I have recently purchased our first home, we have been planning a destination wedding in the Domincan Republic for January 2012, I am picking up my new job quite well, I have tons of spare time, and the world is at my fingertips. But then, I start to notice that I'm a little more paranoid than normal (it's normal for me to be a little paranoid) and that things aren't quite falling into place as I'd planned. Everything has slowed down in my life, but my mind keeps racing. And racing. And racing. I start to feel like I'm going crazy. Then, I start to notice a twitch in my left hand. My racing mind finds every possible reason for my insanity. Still, it doesn't stop. Eventually, it becomes too much for me to handle, and I go to a clinic (first two attempts = fail; third attempt = success!). This all happened in the span of maybe two weeks.

When I went into the clinic in New West (Julien and I had been planning on coming here anyways to inquire about becoming patients as both our family doctors were far away), I swear, they thought I was on drugs. At this point, I couldnt' keep my hand still, my speech was slurred, and my gait on the left side was funny. The doctor did a bunch of reflex tests and asked me questions. He even called my family doctor in Victoria. He was very thorough. He noticed that I had a strong heart murmur was well. He referred me to a neurologist who I was very quickly scheduled to see. Over the next month I had so many tests. A CT scan, two echocardiograms, tons of blood work.

The twitch that I had is called Sydenhams chorea and is almost never found in anyone older than, say, sixteen. It was an auto immune defense response to a strep infection that I never even knew I had! Go figure. So I got some medicine for this and it's pretty much gone now. Thank goodness! It was awful! I wanted to blog about my experiences at the time but I couldn't even type!

Now for my heart. It turns out that I have a congenital bicuspal aortic valve. So, I was born with an aortic valve with two leaflets instead of the normal three leaflets. My valve is quite diseased, probably because of strep infections that I could have easily contracted from dental appointments throughout my life. Sooo, I need to have it replaced. Soon. Like, in four to five weeks.

I haven't been able to find a lot of information about women in my situation. I also haven't been able to find a lot of pictures from the healing process in young women. So, after my surgery, I plan on updating this blog with photos of my scar until I leave for my wedding in January. My hope is that the scar won't be too too TOO nasty in five months. We. Will. See.